


Who I am...

by PurpleRose244



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: A little introspective, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Episode 10 The Green Ninja, Fire Temple, Gen, I love him he's my fav, I mean not exactly angst, Missing Scene, Remember when Kai almost died in a volcano?, Sorry Not Sorry, That's why he's struggling so much, What's going on in that hothead, let's have a flashback about it!, maybe just a little, that's about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 23:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14964653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleRose244/pseuds/PurpleRose244
Summary: "It makes you smile, under the mask. It’s obvious, right? First Zane, then Jay, and Cole at the end.All of them stronger, more mature. So many mocking to the black sheep of the team, the only one too hotheaded to understand his true power. At the end, you’re always the last one.And it’s okay.Because it means just one thing."From episode 10 "The Green Ninja".Desire, obsession, realization, peace. Kai's feelings while he's chasing the Fang Blade and his destiny, only to realize his true self in the least expected situation.Classic master of fire.





	Who I am...

**Author's Note:**

> If someone's interested, this fic is also in italian on EFP. I'm not sure how many italian fans are out there, but you never know, so here it is :P  
> Enjoy! ^ ^

-The Fang Blade’s mine!-.

-It’s too dangerous, the all place is going to explode!

-Better be quick!-.

Run, run Kai, you’re close enough to see it

The Fang Blade. The last Fang Blade. Finally.

You left the others dealing with the serpentine as soon as possible, knowing too well your companions wouldn’t have problems with a bunch of snakes. Around you it’s a fire prison, the hotness is almost unbearable, it pulses on every part of your body like heartbeats. Like warnings for an incoming menace. The Fire Temple roars like it’s furious, shaking the foundation of this entire island and even with your element you still struggle to go on.

But it doesn’t matter, because you did it. You’re so close to the blade.

It makes you smile, under the mask. It’s obvious, right? First Zane, then Jay, and Cole.

All of them stronger, more mature. And there he was, the black sheep of the team, the only one too hotheaded to understand his true power. At the end, you’re always the last one.

And it’s okay.

Because it means just one thing.

If the others reached their true potential, and yours is still latent inside you, it means that your true nature needs to be revealed. That there’s more that needs to come out.

That part is the green ninja. The best warrior. The one that will defeat the evilness.

It’s you. It’s always been you. You never doubted it.

You see Pythor holding your goal in his reptilian hands, trying to find an escape by sliding quickly up to those rough stairs.

Fool. Not on your watch.

Your hand moves on your own. The Sword of Fire, a part of you at this point, goes almost in slow motion in the millimetric throw that frees the Fang Blade from his unworthy holder.

You feel like gloating when both of the blades get stuck in the wall.

The purple serpentine roars against you, furious, but it’s too late.

It’s the right moment. It’s yours.

You don’t even look at the other serpentines under your feet, smashed by Garmadon’s mighty four arms. You even forgot the reason why he’s here with you, facing those snakes you can hardly see. They don’t exist for you, you jump on them like they are training obstacles.

How much did you train?

You haven’t been a ninja since forever, even so it sounds like it’s been an eternity. The world got smaller when you made your first step in Wu’s dojo. What happened to Kai the blacksmith of the Four Weapons? When it became so natural to define yourself as the impatient master of fire? When the desire, almost the obsession of wearing the green suit found such a big place inside your mind?

It doesn’t matter. Not now. Not now.

Pythor grabs the golden hilt of the sword.

He doesn’t know you’re the only one that can use it, nobody is allowed but you. That sword brought glory and destruction, you’re its truest holder. A hiccup from the volcano raises a wave of lava in front of the serpentine. Next thing you know, he disappeared.

He knew he didn’t stand a chance.

As fast as the wind, as fast as a ninja, you go on without fear. The place tries to stop you, rocks, fire, everything tests the nerve you know you have. It’s the courage that always guided you, that insane love for the danger that often makes you bump your head. This time it will be your greatest resource, you’re sure of it.

-Leave it, Kai! It’s not worth your life!-.

-Not without the Fang Blade!-.

You ignore your friends’ voices, they go through you like the sweat that the temple makes it be normal like breathing. You can’t take care of their worries now. You can hear your name called, it echoes all over the volcano. But you’re too focused to even try to recognize it.

The temperature raises, for the other ninja it’s a suffering, for you it’s less hard resist. This is why you have to intervene.

It’s you, just you.

***

As soon as you arrive you grab without hesitation the partner of many battles.

Nothing.

You pull again, harder.

Still nothing.

-It… won’t… budge…!-.

You’re unbelieving.

It’s your sword, why is it so hard? Did you really throw it with too much strength? It was for that indispensable desire that now you don’t have the control over something that belongs to you?

No. No way. Not this close.

The green ninja.

You are the green ninja. It’s so obvious.

You give everything you have, pulling with a strength you’re convinced you have, feeling your muscles trembling for the effort. You move all your body, struggling, kicking like a baby.

It can’t end like this.

You’re the kind of guy that can’t accept no for an answer. You’re stubborn, fickle, you know what you want and do everything in order to obtain it. It’s that side of you that you hate but can’t be apart of. Because it’s still you, it’s still Kai.

Wherever you go, it will always be there.

Suddenly a movement, the Sword of Fire comes out of the wall.

You fall backwards. You hear a thumb below.

Immediately you get up.

The Fang Blade. Where is it? Where did it go?

A feeling.

Immediately your eyes look down at the lava lake.

Shining of incandescent reflections, slowing sliding towards the lava, the blade is at nothing from disappearing in the redness.

You don’t hesitate. It’s not enough to stop you.

Without fear you slide against the wall to the border of that incandescent puddle, extending your hand towards the blade. You lean anxiously, furiously. Hopelessly.

Far enough to be unreachable.

Close enough to be so desirable.

And you desire it. With a burning passion, brightly like they always said.

You need to be the green ninja, so you need that blade.

The last Fang Blade.

The last possibility.

Destiny is in your hands.

Because you’re the green ninja.

You greet your teeth, try to lean as much as you can, the vapors of the lava blowing through your suit. You can see your face on the blade, yet you can’t touch it.

You’re furious. You’re angry, because the green ninja should be able to take it, he should be able to do anything with his power, his strength.

But you don’t have it.

You’re convinced you’re destined to greatness, your dreams are infinite but they are limited by reality. You’ll always feel the urge to think big, to wish more than what you have, because this is how people are.

This is how you are.

But you’ll never be able to convince yourself or the others that you are someone you are not.

Your brothers know, like you do.

You’re just Kai. The last of the ninja, the last at the true potential.

The last. This, you can’t accept.

You look at the top of the volcano, covered by a dense smoke.

You ask yourself why. Why it has to be so difficult? Why you have to be the one that close the door every time, the one too slow to keep up? Why you have to be so incredibly you.

The fire ignites in you. A flame of anger, while the blade slides inevitably towards that mirror of fire.

You need to grab it. You have to.

-Come on! Why won’t my power unlock??-.

-Kai! Help!-.

You’re mind goes white.

Your head turns by instinct, looking at the lake of lava. You haven’t noticed how the place changed, you didn’t even think about how to get out as soon as the mission was completed. Then, a figure. A black point in a crimson sea.

Lloyd.

You widen your eyes. Too many questions.

Why he’s here? For how much? How did you notice him just now? How you didn’t notice that you two are the only ones left?

No answers.

Just one truth: he’s a kid, scared on a fragile rock on a puddle of lava. You know, you see it, it won’t last long.

And this time, more than before, you realize how limited is your strength, watching first the Fang Blade, then the terrified face of Lord Garmadon’s son. You don’t have the abilities, the strength to save the both of them.

You have to choose.

And just a few seconds of indecision in your mind become hours.

Because even with all the honorable lessons they taught you, you’re like the flame you can bend. You’re powerful, but inconstant, unpredictable, for every step forward you make two steps back. Incomprehensible, dangerous, this is the truth.

So a voice comes into your mind, reincarnation of your ambitions and wishes. It knows that if you want the glory, you need to take the blade. It knows you don’t have time for a brat that came into your life by accident. You’re destined to a glorious future, that it will make you forget a little sacrifice like that.

The sacrifice of the progeny of the evilness. Why even thinking about it?

You hesitate, looking at Lloyd.

And understand.

You understand how stupid it was to hesitate.

-Come on, let’s get out of here!-.

You have a dark side inside you. You know, the other knows, it’s the true nature of the fire. A prideful flame, destructive, that devours everything without mercy. But even if there are people as strong, if not stronger, than you, or smarter, more technical or more important, even if you’ll find out there’s in you more corruption than in anyone else, nobody will be able to steal from you your greatest quality. The one that can light every shadow, the one that will never be consumed no matter how strong it burns.

The valor.

You reach Lloyd jumping on the rocks, over the lava, realizing how serious the situation is. You hold him close, he immediately grabs your shoulder, shaking.

-But the Fang Blade…!-.

-Forget it! This place is falling apart!-.

You try not to panic. You succeed.

Holding close the kid you use spinjitzu, a shining fire tornado jumping from one rock to another, heading to the entrance of the place. You’re making it. You’ll make it.

You stop seeing a rock too far to reach.

You stop realizing the entrance is blocked by three giant rocks.

The walls of the volcano keep shaking, boulders fall in the lake raising dangerous waves all around. One of them comes too close, so you try to keep the distance. But there’s no space to get further, and you realize you are slowly sinking.

Lloyd is clenched against you. You’re his only hope.

But you have no idea what to do. You’re surrounded, from every side.

The hotness it’s unbearable, you can feel it filling painfully your lungs after every breath. Even your skin under the suit feels it, it’s like being pinched by a thousand of pins. You’re the master of fire, you would have never guessed to risk your life in front of one of its greatest manifestations.

The lava is raising, it won’t take long until it will devour them. More boulders fall, and high waves move to drown them.

You clench your fists. It’s not fair, ending like this. It was supposed to be your moment, the time you were going to show everybody who you really are. Showing who was the green ninja, the strongest, the chosen one.

You look at the lava in front of you, and you feel lost.

You feel humiliated by your own silly wishes. And maybe, instead of coming out of here so terribly defeated, it’s better ending everything now.

At the end, all you showed was your egoism.

This is your last thought, that will follow you to your end.

Choosing pride over life is this.

Egoism.

You’re an egoist.

An egoist that will face his punishment.

***

-… no.-.

You look up, your last rash decision.

If this is your sentence for being so blind, you’re ready to accept it. Even in your stubbornness, you’re not naïve, you know how you acted.

You did the worst. If you need a punishment, you’ll take it.

But you can’t let your bad choices affect Lloyd.

If so many times you acted without thinking, leaded by instinct only, with an ambition too big to leave a place for some loyalty, now you feel burning inside of you the desire of redemption.

He doesn’t deserve this.

He’s just a kid.

He still has a life of choices, right or wrong, in which fully demonstrate who he is. For your mistake, you can’t let such a young hope fall.

You keep him close, your hands on his little trembling back.

It’s not fair, it can’t end like this. Not for him.

You close your eyes.

You know you are not enough as a protection, that even with all your ego you don’t have enough strength, not even as a human shield. But you can’t stop trying.

You can’t stop hoping. You’ll never stop hoping.

Right now, nothing is important, nothing ever was important. Not the Fang Blade, not the green ninja. The fire inside is burning every unimportant thought, past and future, to the point there’s only what’s happening in this fire prison. No more thinking about yourself, no more seeing only what you didn’t accomplish after every fight.

Your blank mind is empty, yet it’s filled with a feeling of completeness. The timeless moment is gone, nothing can stop this instant anymore.

Even so, you feel a strong satisfaction from the bottom of your heart.

You don’t care about anything right now.

For once, you feel like you’re here for the right reason.

Only to protect someone.

Only to protect Lloyd.

-… please…-.

***

You see nothing.

You feel nothing, not even the pain.

It’s not like you imagined your end.

There’s still hotness, as strong as before, but there’s no menace on you. You can feel it. Like you are floating on a warm cloud. It’s kinda nice.

Lloyd is not holding anymore, he probably fainted for fear and hotness.

And you? How are you? You’re alive, or you’re both gone?

As soon as you open your eyes, you’re amazed by the firing aura all round you, completely different from the wave of lava that almost made you both disappear. It’s like a globe, all around you, moving and living in front of your unbelieving eyes. Your wish was granted in the least expected moment. Exactly in your style.

The volcano is still active, but you’re not afraid anymore. You know this shield will protect you, because it’s the manifestation of fire.

Because it’s you. You, red ninja, master of fire.

You finally understand it.

They way your brothers reached their power forced you off the road. Jay accepting his feelings, Zane realizing his past, Cole facing his father. You thought something similar was coming, so you were ready for anything.

But it’s not like this. You’re not like the others.

No matter how many enemies you’ll face, how many skeletons, serpentines or kings of darkness will cross your way, the only opponent you’ll have to confront will always be one step ahead of you, with the purpose of making you go beyond your limits.

It’s you, Kai.

Your ambitions, your wishes, simply you.

And today, just today, you won. You won.

-Kai!-.

Somehow you can hear Nya’s desperate voice. You realize that, around you and Lloyd, the volcano erupted. Unbearable is the thought of your little sister thinking you are gone.

-My son.-.

And Lord Garmadon’s voice, hurt as you never heard it before, it’s the last push you need. You are in peace, you don’t need to force yourself. As soon as your thoughts fly to the Destiny Bounty, so you power leads you outside the volcano, away from the prison of your egoism.

The sky covered by smoke and ashes is so wide, it makes that old ship flying ship looking bright and comforting. Everything is so beautiful right now.

You see them all, so touched and relieved to see you safe.

-It’s Kai! He found his true potential!-.

You arrive and the dome breaks around you, while you leave Lloyd’s body on the ground. You’re smiling, a victory grin, while you take off your hoodie. You’re a warrior that take off his helmet, knowing the battle is over, so satisfying to be its own reward.

You cross your eyes with sensei Wu’s, the one that guided you, that warned you to control the fire inside you. For once, you managed to listen to him. So he nods, he’s proud, he knows you reached a goal you never thought you were going to achieve.

You friends are all happy, your sister is so relieved, Garmadon is visibly grateful for what you did.

As much as you are yourself. You’re grateful for the occasion, no matter what happened you are victorious. Because you really showed who you are, just not the way you thought.

You know to whom you owe this success. You know that, if you didn’t have felt that deep desire to protect him, you wouldn’t have been able to reach your true potential.

You know it’s all because of him.

So you understand. Maybe he’s not just a brat that casually came across your path. There’s more, a more than could change everything.

But for now, so tired to no be able to stand, you’re good with what you have, what you know. Because finally, you know exactly who you are.

You’re Kai. The brave Kai, the pretentious Kai, the hotheaded Kai.

The valiant Kai.

And this is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Kai. I don't care if he's prideful, I don't care he's arrogant, I don't care he has his own cringy moment for each season. He's my precious flame, that's it ^ ^ I made this fic a long time ago, basically when I first started posting fanfiction online. It wasn't here, and I was super nervous, but it helped building my confidence. And now that I think I'm getting better at English, I decided to translate it :)
> 
> Kai's character kinda gives me goosebumps. He can do so much when he fights for his loved ones, he spends most of his times being all arrogant and stuff... then suddenly, he's so mature he scares me. I think he changed the most in season 8 because of his parents, he's calmer and less angry. It's good for him, but I kinda like the struggling character ^^" Whatever, it's him and I love him <3
> 
> Hope you like this! I wanna try and post something else soon. Finally I'm on the Ninjago section, I wanna show how much I love this show!!  
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or kudos if you want! And tell me if there are errors, my English can always improve!  
> See ya, byee!!


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